


The Fall of Ben Solo

by Kara_Eclipse



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo has Abandonment Issues, Gen, Mind Manipulation, Seduction to the Dark Side, The Solo Family had Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22903432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kara_Eclipse/pseuds/Kara_Eclipse
Summary: You know the story of Kylo Ren but who was he before that? Who was Ben Solo and why did he fall to the depths he did?
Relationships: Luke Skywalker & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Snoke & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Kudos: 6





	The Fall of Ben Solo

**Author's Note:**

> I read the comic 'The Rise of Kylo Ren' and while I did enjoy some of the ideas presented I also disliked several points of it so this is the result of me carving out the pieces I liked and fleshing out what I remember of the movie canon with it. Eventually it will more obviously move into an au from where things stood in the movie but till then please enjoy~

Ben Solo was five when he first realized that he wasn’t normal, that something he did all the time was bad and scary. As long as he could remember he heard voices, not voices like C-3PO who was always talking about something, but voices that sometimes weren’t there. Some were warm and friendly, like Aunty Matha or Uncle Akbar, while others were cold and hard, like that one person who showed up demanding to know where his father was or the person that his mother tried to talk around to signing a treaty over trade rights or something, but he thought they were normal and supposed to be there.

When he replied to something his father had been thinking, was Leia still mad at him or should he go find Luke to hide behind, the way his father froze told him he had done something wrong. The expression of fear and shock on his face was enough to silence his complaints at being sent to his room. It stayed with him even after that though, it and the hushed conversation about him needing training. That was just the first conversation he heard, the first that planted a fear of being sent away, and it lingered. It lingered like the thought of a dark figure who hurt them lingered in the minds of both his parents, but Ben knew better than to ask about that figure because he shouldn’t have known about him at all and it wasn’t who his mother thought of as ‘father’ though it was who uncle Luke thought of sometimes, sometimes when Ben was paying attention, but no he shouldn’t know so he pretended not to.

The fear of being sent away lingered and any time he found his parents talking after he did something strange, something others couldn’t do, he thought of it. The threat lingered over him like a shadow and it made one of the voices so, so much clearer. The voice seemed right. As though the whispered words that he didn’t belong and that he was a mistake born too soon and too strong, which echoed and lingered but Ben never spoke of the whispered words because he worried if he did then he would be sent away, were the truth and the promises of love and care his mother made every day seemed false. It was frightening yet if pretending to hear nothing meant he could stay he would keep doing so, even when he heard his father mentally begging for his mother to let him help and his mother mentally screaming for his father to come back and to stop running from everything.

At last Ben figured out how to tell the difference between the thoughts and people actually speaking. He did so too late though, too late to really make friends and to not seem evil and dark and like a mistake who needed to go away, but he still clung some to the one true friend he made while trying to figure it out until he was sent away. It was as though his thoughts of being sent away, of being abandoned, seemed to seep through to his parents slowly sinking in and finally when he was nine Ben was sent away to his uncle, the distant one, Uncle Luke, not Uncle Chewie who taught him how to climb things and who carried him around and taught him so many things while his parents wanted to be together without him.

Standing at the bottom of the ramp of the Falcon Ben eyed his uncle wondering if he would ever go home again. His mother, oblivious to his thoughts, gave him a gentle push towards her brother while his father grinned at him.

“Not to worry kid, we’re just leaving you here for a bit to figure out what you can do.” His father sounded sure of that but his thoughts only expressed the desire to be away from here, away from ‘that force mumbo jumbo’.

“Go on Ben. Luke will take care of you while you settle in here. Once you are comfortable then we’ll visit again.” His mother spoke warmly, giving Uncle Luke a nod.

Ben bit his lip to stop a comment about never settling in and that he doubted that he would ‘figure out’ what he could do either. The words and poignant sense of loss, of abandonment, lingered brightly enough that Uncle Luke was eyeing him curiously yet with concern. Quickly Ben checked to see if the shields one of the voices taught him were in place because his uncle finding out about how he felt or what he thought was the last thing Ben wanted.

Hesitantly Ben walked to his uncle, his pack slung over his shoulder as he felt almost like he was walking to his doom. Luke rested a reassuring hand on his shoulder and offered a warm smile that Ben tried weakly to return.

“I’ll com you in a week Leia and tell you how it’s going.”

“Okay Luke. We’ll be off now.” Leia said as she boarded the Falcon again.

Ben deliberately didn’t look, he didn’t want to watch as he was left behind with this uncle he hardly knew in a place he certainly did not know. He didn’t even look when he heard his father’s farewell, though who he was actually speaking to Ben didn’t know because he heard Luke being called ‘kid’ often too by his dad.

“See you around, kid.” His father’s rough voice said then they were gone and Ben was standing next to his uncle who he hardly knew because he was even busier than Ben’s parents.

“Well, let’s get you settled.” Luke offered gently, his hand settling on Ben’s shoulder as he guided him inside the stone and wood building.

The usual voices in his head quieted now, all but one and that one was a voice Ben clung to because if he was to be here then he would not be alone. Not even the faint sense of other people and their thoughts were as reassuring as that one constant voice.


End file.
